Theatre Relationships

Something that has always struck me about theatre is the relationships you form with the people you’re working with.  In the thirty years I’ve been in theatre, I’ve worked with a ton of people.  Some of those people I will always remember, even if they’re not in my life anymore.  Some of those people I don’t remember now, but I know they were important to me at one time.  I have fond memories of a lot of different people like that.  I think most of all are the relationships I’ve maintained through the years, like my best friend growing up and the teacher turned contemporary who was in my wedding party.  Relationships in theatre always make a mark on you.

The thing about theatre is that we’re all close.  First of all, we’re all close physically.  We’re working in a small space together, especially when you’re working on an ensemble piece and there’s a whole group.  You have to be so comfortable with the people you’re working with in that situation.  Those bonds you form are so strong, which I think is clear in the way you work together and the show you present.  Personal space is a thing, of course, but you still have to learn how to physically exist with other people.  Learning how you all move makes a major difference on stage.

But those bonds aren’t just physical ones.  Emotionally and mentally, you have to learn to trust the people you’re working with.  And not just on stage!  It makes me think about being up in the booth…the actors are relying on me to make sure their cues are all ready for them.  That they’re going to get the right lights and sounds.  Learning how to make relationships as a stage manager was a new experience for me, but I came to understand what I was doing.  Making those bonds was very different from making bonds as an actor, with other actors, but still important.

My best friend through middle school and high school was a theatre friend.  For most of those years leading up to us being in New Voices together, we only saw each other once a week, for acting class.  But he was still the most important person in my life.  I know I’ve talked about Drew before, but he’s really my best example of a theatre bond.  We always had something special…and even when we drifted apart, we found ourselves drifting back together.

The other major theatre bond I made was with Nadira…she had been one of my teachers, who I then joined forces with for New Voices.  It was funny that we had known each other many, many, many years before, and came back to each other.  I can’t imagine my life without her.  She was in my wedding party, which was the most special thing.  This was another one of those theatre relationships that changed my life.  I certainly wasn’t expecting to find her, but I’m so glad I did.

There have been so many people in my life that I can’t imagine never having met, even if they’re gone.  I have lost people from my theatre life.  People I was close with and loved dearly, like my theatre mom/mentor/teacher Ceal.  I was with her until the end.  There are also the people that I had lost somewhere along the way.  One of the girls I had worked with in New Voices died tragically young.  And that one hit me so hard.  It wasn’t fair, and even if Emily and I hadn’t talked in some time, it was like losing a part of myself.  A part that was long buried.

What is it about theatre that makes these relationships?  It’s easy to say it’s just the magic of theatre, and that’s definitely a part of it.  But there’s a lot more to it than that.  Theatre is different for everyone involved, but we all know that we have to trust each other and form those strong relationships.  If there’s not strength in relationship throughout cast and crew, everything is going to fall apart.  We have to form these bonds, these relationships, in order for the show to happen at all.  If we don’t trust each other, we have nothing.

I’ve been a part of some shows where I’m coming into things late.  The shows I stage managed in NYC were already up and running by the time I came into them.  But the actors still learned to trust me, to listen to me, to do what I needed them to do and for me to do what they needed from me.  Same with when I started working with New Voices as an adult.  But there are also shows I’ve been with from the very start.  And in all cases, I had to build those relationships.

Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s not, but in the end, I think theatre relationships are some of the strongest, most unbelievable relationships I’ve ever been a part of.  And whether it’s with people I’ve long since lost track of or people I still talk to on a regular basis, I consider myself blessed to be a part of it all.  I have strong bonds with other people, of course, but nothing can ever break a theatre bond.